Don’t fall into this trap when storytelling

This week I’ve been talking a lot about Storytelling. Today I want to talk about a common pitfall I see in website copy all the time:

The “YOU” trap = telling instead of showing a person how they feel.

Great copy evokes emotion. The goal is to get the reader to feel something. The way to do this is to show not tell, but the “YOU” trap is all telling, and that's why it's not as effective.

Here’s an example:

“You’re totally unclear about how to get your first paying client.”

Here, I’m telling the reader how they feel. When I do this, it’s very easy for her to say “NOPE you don’t know me, that’s not what I’m going through.”

Here is a way to tweak this into a story so I SHOW vs TELL:

“Post in 3 Facebook Groups 3 times a day. Send 2 value emails and 1 sales email to your list a week. Make sure you have 4 Facebook posts and 2 Instagram posts a day. Attend networking events. Know your WHY. Connect with your heart. Do all the things.
All the advice out there about how to get your first paying client is enough to make your head spin. In fact, your to-do list is paralyzing you. It’s like, you’re nowhere closer to getting your first client than you were last week.”

See the difference?

I put the reader in a SCENE. Whether the reader has a business or not, she is IN the scene and she can FEEL the overwhelm just by reading it. Much more powerful. What do you think?

P.S. I’ve put together a lineup of 21 amazing speakers for GO FOR IT Summit so you can unleash your inner message and get paid doing what you love. The summit kicks off on Monday, Feb 6. Click here to sign up!